WHEN ACTION SPEAKS LOUDER THAN WORDS...

okey....for the 1st time i am trying my best to write in english...hahaha......gud lak baiti...hehe
lately...my encikhati was so...so....hurt....being the eldest is not make u easier...but cause u a trouble........ that is the fact. okey....kenapa saya berkata sedemikian?? there's a lot of reasons.....

1. u have to be the best to be a good role model to the youngest.....
2.u have to pretend that u are good in everything
3. u have to bear with the word "oh...tuanya die.."

that's not mean that i am not accept that i'm getting older and older... it's not a big problem with me....but when they create such a barrier among us....it would be so difficult to me to cope with them... all i have to do is to pretend to them that i am like them.... thinking juz like the way they are... even i'm not so happy with that....i've no choice... we have to make changes in order to accept and to be accepted....and now ...i juz lost myself....haha...it is ok for me to be 20 rather than four years older..huhuhuhu....

being a chubby person is not easy to0. people always make fun of me.... ok....deep inside my heart....i accept the fate. evrything happen with a reason. so...i am glad to be me..... thank god..i still breathe. i am always think positive things.  sometimes...i juz wondering... do i cause such a big problem to them? i am not asking to live like this....to be like this....but then...what is wrong to them if i am like this? there's a big question mark,. this is happen to me....last week....okeh....i forgive him eventhough he never say sorry to me....but then...thanks for make me such an idiot. i am begging you....stop being jerk because the fact is...u are juz like me.... :p...the more u hurt me....actually u hurt yourself the most...

and now when action speaks louder than words........ i am not who i am....